"It appears God has opened
a door or at the very least-unlocked it."
a door or at the very least-unlocked it."
This from my wise and beautiful daughter "M".
It was only a day or so ago that I complained
of my circumstance to my bestie in NM.
Her advice, "Why not do something different?"
She went on to say, "yes, you must make your
appointment, but that is several weeks away,
why not go visit your sister and friend in Oregon in the meantime?"
"Who say's you have to just sit
there awaiting this appointment!?!"
It's true, I long to begin my journey.
I have been terribly discouraged by the delays
that have caused me to put my plans of moving to
Portland, OR on hold. Now here is my BFF
telling me to consider there might be
another answer-Despite having NO evidence
to support this statement-her words did cause
me to consider the possibility.
I surrender and confess to God that I am
out of answers. "God if there is a way,
another route- please Lord show it to me."
A tiny prayer I offer to God.
Just the slightest request for insight.
The following day I am resolved to riding
out the discomfort of just sitting here,
a seemingly fruitless labor to be endured
for the next 6+ weeks.
For unrelated reasons I telephone my mother
who I've not spoken to since last Mother's Day
when she confirmed to me that my father
is not my true biological father.
To make matters worse, she can't even
remember his name.
She's happy to hear from me.
I am surprised at the absence of resentment;
usually quite prevalent if not palpable.
In fact I dare say I enjoyed our conversation
with out even trying.
Thank you Lord, this is nothing short of a
miracle to anyone knowing my history
with my mother~
We talked for about 15 minutes and in that
short time I learn she will be traveling
to Oregon to assist my brother and his
family back to AZ. "Hmmm, can I hitch a ride?"
The words came out of my mouth before I've
had a chance to even think it through.
A resounding "yes" is her immediate reply.
I begin to back out realizing that the
2 days in the "xtra cab" seat behind the
passenger seat of her little flatbed truck
with a chihuahua, could very well be my undoing.
I quickly negotiate and secure a spot for a large
box of my belongings in the bed of her truck.
She can and will deliver these items for me.
She will stop by to pick them up on
her way out in a couple weeks!
Later that day I am multi-texting and talking
w/a number of my closest advisors via blackberry.
This counsel of many comes from my 2 sisters,
my daughter M, as well as my girlfriend's C and S.
The conversations lead to such an exciting revelation!
In short... You asked for it- you got it!
Statements like "Hello, if that's not God,
I don't know what is!" and "you better not be
teasing me" were coming at me faster than I
could facilitate.
Suddenly everything had become so clear.
Yes! Yes, you are allowed to go and live,
experience and enjoy life NOW!
Let tomorrow take care of itself,
today is all you have right now- in this moment.
Make your desires known to God-
He is faithful. He will answer.
He desires every good thing for you-
most of all; that you know Him.
Alive and active He will be on your behalf
in as much as you allow.
Nothing is set in stone, but He has shed
a light unto my path and a lamp unto my feet.
Just enough room for me to step out in faith-
the kind that in me... grows deeper still.
Until next time peeps- continue to grow.
xoxo
L~
Nothing is ever set in stone. And, I suspect, nothing is coincidence except in the most denotative form- i.e. coinciding or simply happening at the same time.
ReplyDeleteAnyway! The door has most certainly been unlocked. I love to spy you peering through.
(Also, I think you meant palpable.)
:D
Leena,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for writing this!!
Best wishes to you in all that you do!
Missed seeing you the other night, but hope to catch up with you soon! We need to talk!
XOXO
Annie
Annie,
ReplyDeleteThank you soooo much! I appreciate your comment and best wishes for me.... Yes! We will meet up before I move for good.... Let's Talk!
xoxo
L~